Women on the other hand are taught that their sexual desirability has a built in expiration date; pass a specific point and nobody will have want to have sex with you, not when they could bang someone younger instead.This gets especially caught up in the (admittedly old-fashioned) idea of women being an “old maid” if they haven’t found a partner or spouse by an equally random age.
For some, it’s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it’s part of the modern high-school mythology that we’ve made up.
For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married.
A flawed article in an issue of Newsweek sent women into paroxysms of fear of spinsterhood when it claimed that women who weren’t married by 40 would be married and had better odds of being killed by terrorists.
In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.
The fear of reaching is who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”.
That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.