I wish I had, because when I had my first panic attack in front of her she was blindsided by the ferocity of if.
She adapted to the attack quicker than I would have, but I often regret not prepping her more, and earlier. The number of potential relationships that I throttled because of too many texts that were too affectionate, too soon, are in the triple digits. Not only was I contaminating the milk, she said, I had been contaminating her without her consent for more than a year.
And while I don't have a secret life, criminal record or shady past, I had my share of secrets that didn't increase my appeal as a relationship material. When I told my fiancée (many months later) about those phone calls, she said that she would have absolutely bolted had she known. So Kevin wasn't about to get near my future wife until I felt she was likely to be immune to his charms. If there is one thing horror movies have taught me, it's that bad things always happen in basements and attics, so I always avoid them. After a week of unpacking she finally asked, "Why are all of the empty boxes in the hallway, and not in the attic? She looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I was afraid of the attic. My fiancée has set me straight about how primitive that mindset is.
If you can find an activity that lets you both meet new people at the same time (Book club? Actually, if you can manage it, I really recommend the tactic my partner and I tried, which was to move to a new state together after nine months of dating. Sometimes compromise means we do something that's in between the things we both want to do, like getting together with a small group of friends instead of going to a huge party, or staying in and reading.
We restarted our social lives on equal footing and now have several close friends we both love spending time with. Sometimes it means we do my thing tonight and your thing next weekend.
I was diagnosed with GAD in college, but I have dealt with the disorder as long as I can remember.
Some days are worse than others, and an off day can make me irritable, standoffish, and withdrawn.
But a very close second was the disparity in our social drives. If your objective is to stay on your own turf and your partner's is to get to know her BFF's new boyfriend, maybe you can satisfy everyone by having the two of them over for beers and board games. I don't like being alone with nothing to do, because then I just waste time on the Internet until I get a tension headache from staring at a screen, but planned downtime with a movie, a book, or a long walk is wonderful. Be thoughtful about how you introduce your partner to friends.
I happen to be married to a classic introvert (someone who is usually drained, rather than energized, by large groups of people), while I tend to be much more outgoing. Knowing what's a "maybe" and what's a "hard no" for your partner makes it easier to find middle ground.3. One-on-one time together is crucial for any romance, but introverts and extroverts often have different ideas of what that should look like. If you're dating someone who values deep, intimate connections but is stressed out by short, casual interactions with lots of people, don't throw a huge party as a way of introducing your love to your work, grad school, college, and book club buddies in one fell swoop.I finally broke down and wore them after a particularly long laundry drought.My worst fears were realized: She laughed at them and then persuaded me to throw them out because as she puts it "they were falling down more than they were staying up."To my future fiancée, I came off as outgoing, confident, and together.Since then, we have confronted our insecurities together and continue to be each other's most vocal cheerleader.Reveal your flaws (psychological or otherwise) sooner rather than later, it might just separate The One from the rest.It worked out okay, but it's not fair to your partner if you don't reveal the whole truth. I mentioned this in passing, almost a year into our relationship. I don't think anything on the list made her more upset than this one.